Month: November 2018

Mitch vs Me. I Take on Trubisky’s Shoulder

trubisky-raffBy now all of Chicago has heard the news. Mitch Trubisky, the first-place Bears’ second-year quarterback has an injured shoulder and may not play on Thanksgiving against the Lions in Detroit. The city holds its breath in concern.

At the same time, I have an aching soreness in my right shoulder too. Whose shoulder matters more?

MITCH ME
Profession QB Bears Lab Director
Age 24 (24 x 3) – 10
Frequent Misspelling of Name Trubinsky Raft
Nickname At Least He’s Not Cutler Doc
Employer Chicago Bears Pathology Associates
Working Hours 3.5 hours/week (plus film time) 45-50 hours week (plus commute)
Salary $6,500,000 Less
Claim on Salary Agent Wife
Means of Communications at Work Yells to teammates on line of scrimmage Writes gently persuasive e-mails
Injury Sore Right Shoulder Sore Right Shoulder
Source of Injury Slammed to ground by 214 Linebacker Must have slept on it or something
Result of Injury Hard to throw touchdowns Hard to twiddle knobs on microscope
Treatment Four Star Medical Team Four Star Hand Therapist and Wife of 40 Years
Status “Day-to-Day” “Case-to Case”
People Who Care Millions of Bear Fans Me

So who do you think is the winner?

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