Amazon pays $50 million for former Old Chicago amusement park and megamall site–Chicago Tribune, February 12, 2020.

Who remembers Old Chicago? It was an odd place, a combination of amusement park and boutique stores under a giant dome, that was open in where-the-heck-is Bolingbrook in the late 1970s. It was no Riverview, and no Great America either. It bombed.

I took Barb to Old Chicago for our second date, back when I was still trying to find something unique to do each time we went out.  That second date was as much success as the polo match on our first date. A few roller coasters (not Barb’s thing) and a dangerous-looking crowd (also not Barb’s thing.) No wonder I soon fell back to that old stand-by, dinner and a movie. It’s what we boomers did back then, and it’s what we still do, though the butt-shuffling Skokie Theater has been replaced by reclining sleeper seats at the Lincolnshire Regal.

Old Chicago wasn’t the only place trying the indoor amusement park concept. Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota has been more successful. My guy gang and I spent one evening there on our first regular-season baseball road trip (2005-White Sox are World Series Champs.) It too seemed dark and dingy, though the dangerous crowd I remembered from Old Chicago was replaced by cosplayers from some character convention going on in part of the mall. Scary in its own way…

The Mall did have one highlight for us, a monument at the location of the homeplate from Metropolitan Stadium, the ballpark pulled down for the Mall. Well, it is a highlight if you are all baseball geeks!

So what is Amazon getting for its $50 million investment? The dome is long-gone. What remains is a 119-acre site, upon which Amazon won’t yet say what it is going to build. My guesses? Maybe a distribution center so I can get my order of computer cables and kitty litter filled faster. How about drone parking lot so I can get my delivery of SLS-free toothpaste and vacuum cleaner bags even faster than that? Or maybe a secret listening post, where Amazon can listen to and analyze everything I say within 100 feet of Alexa–no wait, they already do that!

Well, Mr. Bezos, you didn’t choose Chicago for your HQ2. But you are choosing Chicago now–Old Chicago. May your billions multiply like grains of sand along the lakeshore. Just don’t build another roller coaster there-no one will come!

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