Compared to the bugs and the spiders and flies
I am an ape man—The Kinks

I have always been a morning person, an early riser. Before retirement (is that really already a year ago?) I started the day bright and eager at the sound of my 5 a.m. alarm. I’d launch down the tollway well before the morning traffic rush, do a quick walk-through of the lab, and be finished reviewing a tray or three of slides before my associates even got to their microscopes.

Things haven’t changed much in the past year. Although I rarely turn on my alarm clock, I still rise while the house is dark and Barb and our dog Cooper sleep. My only wakeful companion is the kitten. By the time anyone else joins me I have had my morning workout, showered, shaved, fed the cat, downed my gluten-free breakfast, and successfully (hopefully) completed the Wordle, Connections, and Waffle daily puzzles. I am hyped up and ready for morning pickleball or a long dog walk.

I’ve always considered that the morning energy was just “my nature.” I have never given a thought to why I might be that way. And then this morning, I discovered an article in my early morning news feed that explains it all. According to an article in the science section of The Guardian, I am part Neanderthal!

For those of you not up to date on your anthropology, the Neanderthals were a primitive species sort-of related to homo sapiens (the current us.) Probably originating in Africa, the Neanderthal ancestors migrated to Europe and Asia before homo sapiens but interbred with them when the sapiens eventually followed a similar migration pattern. The Neanderthals died out, the homo sapiens flourished.

What does that have to do with me? Scientists at the University of California San Francisco explain that for the Neanderthals to survive the relatively shorter days in Europe, early morning wakefulness was a useful trait and part of their genetic makeup. And today, people with certain Neanderthal genes in their DNA (remember there was interbreeding between the two species) have “an increased propensity to be a morning person.” There was no mention in the article of whether we morning people also inherited shorter arms and legs and big foreheads from our prehistoric forebearers.

So it’s true, I have a bit of the caveman in me. I’d like to write more about it, but I need to start the grill for the barbecue we are having with our neighbors Fred and Barney and their wives Wilma and Betty. It’s a good thing the brontosaurus burgers were on sale at the local Jewel, that Fred can eat a ton.

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