Some thoughts on the first anniversary of my gluten-free life!

A year ago is when it came to be
That my GI specialist said to me
"Celiac Disease is your diagnosis
Be glad that it's not acute shigellosis."

So that was the day that I gave up on gluten
All the bread and the buns and things high-fallutin
Like brioche and scrumptuous cream pies made in Boston
And a salad named Caesar with croutons all tossed in.

Sometimes I'm inspired to prepare a new dish
When a gluten-free special is just what I wish
My Korean fried chicken was easy to master
With spicy Gochujang paste it was not a disaster.

Banana bread without gluten is something I treasure
I use special flour, it's measure for measure.
And my ground turkey chili needs no modification
I just need to pass by the crisp cracker station.

Sunday brunch I would love with cream cheese and bagels
But without wheat or rye the baker finagles
A doughnut shaped rock with a miserable texture
To pretend it's a bagel is a losing conjecture.

Pasta is something I used to eat weekly
The alternate versions I stare at so bleakly
Made with almond flour, chickpeas, corn, rice, and more
They are all miserable messes that I've grown to abhor.

When I dine with my wife at a local cafe
I let the host know that it's gluten-no-way.
The menu they hand me is greatly reduced
But it's the rolls on the table that have me seduced.

I fight the sensation of wanting to bite in
The pain in my stomach starting to tighten
The gluten-free bread I'm given instead with
A smile, is not worth the butter it's spread with.

I've craved Lou Mal's pizza it was so satisfying
But their gluten-free version is just horrifying.
The crust is like cardboard mixed up with cement
To eat it requires truly informed consent.
 
So let them eat cake, all my family and friends
My giving up gluten has brought dividends
My waist line has shrunken by more than an inch
And my digestion's  no longer the after meal Grinch.

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