Stories from the parking lot and beyond.

If you use Reddit, you may be familiar with a Subreddit called “Am I The Asshole?” Contributors describe real-life situations they’ve faced and ask the internet to judge: Were they in the wrong? The respondents can concur that the original writer is the greatest jackass of all time, or let them off the hook with a gentle “You did no wrong.”

I consider myself a pretty decent guy. I don’t cheat at games, I appreciate everyone’s cooking, and since I don’t expect perfection from the people around me, I usually don’t badger them if they fail to meet even my limited expectations. But three incidents in the last week have got me wondering, am I the asshole?

Incident #1: I was picking up Cooper from his Monday Doggie Daycare experience in Wheeling. The facility has limited parking, with only two legal parking spots, as well as one space for disabled drivers. When I began my turn into the lot, I saw that the regulation spots were both taken. Knowing that the drivers and their dogs would be out shortly, I braked and waited in the single driving lane. A car driven by an able-bodied teenager zoomed by me on the left, almost sideswiping my car, and pulled into the disabled driver spot.

Once we were both inside the daycare building, waiting for our dogs, I told him, not too politely, that I didn’t appreciate his driving maneuver and that the spot was reserved for people who needed it, not impatient teenagers. Am I the Asshole?

Incident #2: I pulled into a parking spot in the sprawling parking lot at Woodman’s Market. As I left my car, I was approached by a woman pushing a packed shopping cart. She wanted me to pull my car back out so that she could wheel her shopping cart through the parking space to her car, a few spaces to my right. Rather than backing out, a risky maneuver in the always crowded lot, I showed her that less than 10 feet to my right was the wide, very well-marked, pedestrian lane, perfectly suited for her purpose.

She gave me an angry look, but I didn’t back down, and I didn’t back out. Am I the Asshole?

Incident #3: Barb and I were doing our weekly shopping at the Sunset Foods Store in Northbrook. The deli case was on our right as we waited to place my usual order of lunch meat. A woman in a motorized shopping cart came speeding toward us, a mere foot from the counter. The look on her face made clear her impatience with us as we scrambled to get out of her way.

Twenty minutes later, we saw the same woman maneuvering back and forth in her attempt to get the mobile cart into the checkout lane. She was muttering loudly, clearly frustrated. I knew I should help her, but our previous encounter had left a bitter taste in my mouth. I stayed in my checkout lane until store personnel assisted her a moment later. Am I the Asshole?

So, readers, what do you think? Three decisions on my part to either not help out or not turn the other cheek. Am I the asshole?

Spoiler alert—I don’t think I am!