Super Tuesday Show Down: Which is Tougher, Building a New Home or Running for President?

I don’t care if Monday’s blue…

…Tuesday’s grey and Wednesday too

The Cure, 1992

Super Tuesday–a major milestone in the presidential primary season. We are also at a transition point in our home building. The concrete foundation is poured and curing, wood framing will begin next week. Which is the bigger story, the presidential race or our endeavor? Let’s compare a few features.

Timeline: We first considered moving late last winter, beginning to scan the online real estate listings, waiting for the first sign of spring, those “Open House” signs blooming on most street corners. So we have been at it for almost a year. Donald Trump announced his candidacy in June so we had a head start on him. But Hillary has been running for President at least since the end of the husband Bill’s second term. That would be 16 years, so we have to give the points to her on this one.

Battleground: The presidential election is national news. The shock and awe surrounding Trump is international, or possibly intergalactic. We can’t compete with that, but our hole in the ground has attracted plenty of attention from our new neighbors. That is enough of an audience for us.

Financing: On their side–Super PACs, personal fortunes, $200,000 speeches, thousands of donors. On our side–a very obstinate banker. But we got what we needed, and as long as we do a little balancing and don’t overextend we will be O.K. Gotta watch out for those marble counter tops though.

Name Calling: Trump, Rubio, Cruz–You guys have got this one. Barb and I haven’t called anyone on our building team a name even once. Unless, maybe, just maybe, it was to that damn %$#@#$% banker.

Advisors: They have policy wonks and campaign managers and “people they see on TV.” I have Barb. Advantage Raff’s.

Flip-flops: Yes, we had some indecision early on. There was that other house we almost bought, and then the decision to stay put for a few more years. And it is true, we keep changing our mind about the roof. But no one can compete with Chris Christie as the ultimate flipper. Does anybody believe he and Trump have suddenly found love and respect for each other? That’s as likely as an embrace between the Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote. May an Acme Safe fall on your head, Governor Christie.

Deadline: The first Tuesday after the first Monday in November. This year that is on the 8th. I predict we will see a Clinton-Trump battle. I also predict we will have been on our house for almost a month by that date. But then, I am way too much of an optimist. Whenever we wind up moving, I just want to make sure that wherever I am living in November, I have registered to vote. And I promise, my vote won’t go to Mr. Trump!

Ultimate Prize: A temporary stay in a house in Washington DC, non-stop headaches, and your finger on the button vs a cozy suburban home for life, with no Vladimir Putin or Kim Jong-un to contend with. I know which one I prefer!

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To the Family Who Will Buy Our House, Whoever You Are

Our house…

…was our castle and our keep.

Madness, 1982

It is late February now. The weather changes from day to day, bright and sunny on Tuesday, windy and stormy by Wednesday. Most of our trees are bare, though we fear these temperature shifts may confuse them into early budding. And we don’t want confusion. We want it all to be perfect. This will be the last spring we will watch the lawn spring to life, the last Mother’s Day weekend Barb will spend planting her brilliant mix of annuals, the last season we will enjoy the magnificent white explosion of the magnolia at the end of the driveway. By spring of next year we will be in our new home, loving it I am sure, but missing this house, the house that has been our castle for so long.

We trust you will enjoy this home and this neighborhood as much as we have. This is the place where our children grew from toddlers to graduate students before heading out on their own. A place of backyard dance parties and Grand Staircase prom pictures. Kitchen table games of “Sorry” as intense as any episode of “Game of Thrones.” Annual Father’s Day driveway basketball challenges against my sister’s family, that always seemed to end with Laury in tears. The chanting of B’nai Mitzvah practices and the tinkling of piano practices. Technology progressing from dial up modem to hardwired home network to whole house WiFi, as Barb and I binged on our favorite anti-heroes: Tony Soprano, Walter White, Jax Teller.

Will you understand the love and care that Barb put into choosing every fixture and floor tile? Will you cherish the master bath light fixture we stumbled on in Las Vegas, the kitchen fixture we discovered while staring through the window of a closed lighting shop on a cold Thanksgiving Day in Charleston, South Carolina? We hope you will appreciate the skill of Stan the Cabinet Man, whose creations support the beautiful marble countertop on the kitchen island. Or maybe you will just like the bones of the house, and will choose to make major changes in the decor. It will be your house, your opportunity. We just hope you are gentle!

We are still debating when to put the house up for sale. Assuming (should we assume?) all goes well, our new Ranch on the Pond won’t be ready until autumn, so we will prefer not to move much before then. But we imagine you are a family with children. You will want to be in your new house by mid-August to take advantage of the great neighborhood schools. We understand– and don’t think for a minute we would be moving out of the Stevenson School District if we still had teens! So we will put the house on the market early, probably a spring real estate listing. Maybe you will see it online, or maybe your realtor will bring you to the house and you will be blown away. Mortgage rates should still be low, so that should be a plus. And who knows, after you see the property you might Google us and come across this blog and maybe that will help convince you to buy. But if the timing is just right, that graceful magnolia at the end of the drive will be in full bloom. And this house will win your hearts.

CORRECTION: The original version of this post stated the Las Vegas fixture was in the dining room. Oops!

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Mattel’s New Barbies Are Not Enough!

It’s just a …

…personality crisis.

New York Dolls, 1973

When Laury was a little girl, the gift she always asked for, but never received, was a shiny pink plastic Barbie car. It would have been the perfect companion for her blonde, sleek, and unnaturally proportioned Barbie doll. But with sales of that California Barbie flagging, Mattel has announced they will now be making Barbie in seven skin tones, 22 eye colors and 24 hairstyles. Let’s see, doing a Powerbally type calculation we have 7 x 22 x 24=1056 possible combinations. At one a night, that’s 132 years worth of Hannukah presents.

But despite all those permutations, don’t you think Mattel may still be missing the boat? A few suggestions for some additional dolls to jack up (jill up?) their doll sales.

Mariah–this curvy crooner doll comes dressed in Spandex and with a brand new engagement ring. Past husbands optional.
Meryl–a rare talking variety, she can teach your daughter (or son) to speak in 7 different accents.
Merkel–buy this stern German Mädchen and she invites all the neighbor dolls over too!
Adelle–not the most beautiful doll, but sells so fast Toys R Us can’t keep her in stock.
Oprah–be careful when you buy her, she has a tendency to give away all the cars in your garage.
Serena and Venus–a matched set, big, strong and come with a loaded trophy case they won’t let anyone else play with.
Mary-Kate and Ashley–another matched set, not as big, not as strong, but come with a clothes wardrobe they designed for all your other dolls.
Caitlyn–a recent redesign, not welcome in all households.
Carly–she’ll take over your home, bring you to the brink of bankruptcy, then want to be your Doll President.
Miss Columbia–still thinks she is the prettiest doll in your collection.
and finally, Hillary–keeps on running, running, running.

Mattel, if you need me for anymore suggestions, I am available. Just think how many companions we can come up with for Ken. And Laury, we apologize for never buying you that Barbie car. But we did let you drive the CRV!

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I promised a house update. Concrete footings has been poured and are curing, plumbing fixtures have been carefully considered but not ordered, architect and contractor are keeping in touch. 2016 WILL be the year of the big move. Keep following the blog to find out how it all turns out.

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Isn’t This Blog Supposed To Be About Building A House?

He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus…

…but more than you’ll ever know.

The Killers, 2006

Yes, it has been awhile since we have had a lesson in Home Building 101. Weather and other assorted issues have caused a bit of a hiatus in the Big Dig. All of you who warned us that we needed to keep some flexibility in our time line were right on target. So as you have all noticed, the blogs have had to find some alternate topics*, which have made me a few new friends, and alas, some new frenemies.

But today we are back in the world of construction. The thaw last week finally allowed completion of excavation. Of course, the thaw is being followed by a brutal cold snap, so I don’t think the concrete for the foundation will be flowing for a while. But the weather is no barrier for Barb. She has been researching, reading, revising, and improving. The muntins entered limbo for a while, but are back in their rightful place on the windows. Roofing continues to be a challenge, as the pluses and minuses of a variety of products are weighed. We have discovered a new contender, a pseudo-slate, manufactured in part from recycled rubber products. Made in Canada, it is eco-friendly, and not bad looking, but not yet popular in the Chicago area. If you have used it, give us a review! Barb has also been busy evaluating all the plumbing fixtures. Sinks, toilets, tubs. So many styles, so many trends. It can be overwhelming.

Overwhelming is an understatement when talking about Abt Appliances in Glenview, Disney World® for adults. Barb and I have been shopping with them for 35 years, through three of their locations and four of our homes. Their incredible selection is matched by wonderful service and attention to detail. I don’t know how I failed to give them one of my customer service awards. In two hours we had placed an order for everything from refrigerators to ovens to dishwashers and more. We scored a deal on a manufacturers close out oven model. Almost a rare Abt glitch with that one though. Since the oven is a close out, the store required us to take possession now, even though it won’t be installed for months. When the delivery driver called to say he was on his way he mentioned the address he was headed to. Delivering the oven to that big hole in Riverwoods would not have been the desired outcome! Fortunately Barb was able to direct him to our current home, where a large oven crate now takes up a quarter of my garage.

When Barb and I aren’t researching the home, we have been binge watching Sons of Anarchy, a motorcycle gang mash-up of The Godfather (a favorite movie) and The Sopranos (a favorite TV show.) It is violent and compelling, and stars a young Brit, Charlie Hunnam, that Barb thinks is cute. That is his picture at the top of the blog. I figure that between Neil Diamond on the last blog, and Charlie on this one, I should be in Barb’s good graces for at least a month. Any opinions from the ladies out there on Charlie vs. Neil?

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*Did you miss the family history post? Click here.

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Why Did My Cat Dump Me?

Kkkkkk, Katmandu…

…I think it’s really where I’m going to.

Bob Seger, 1975

I became a cat lover at age eight. I remember my aunt and uncle climbing the stairs to our apartment with a paper shopping bag. Peeping out was a scrawny street cat they had captured. They had decided they didn’t want her, but that she would be a perfect fit for my family. My uncle had named her Lolita, a name who’s significance was totally lost on me. Sure enough, she knew how to get around, and a few months later Lolita was burrowing into a mattress to give birth to a litter of four. While Lolita and three of her offspring were donated to a shelter, the fourth kitten, grey and frisky, became Mousey. He was the family cat for 14 years, even surviving a tumble, of somewhat questionable origins, from a third floor window.

Fast forward to married life and a constant parade of cats. Early on, Barb surprised me with Jessie, a stunning but emotionally cool Calico. Pee-Wee, inherited from Barb’s mom, was a decent fellow, though he did lose control once, attacking Barb and Michael. That was the end of front claws in our cats. (Let the haters begin.) Penny, named for ‘baller Penny Hardaway, was Pee-Wee’s clone. The coordinator at the animal shelter warned us he might have a mean streak. She was right. Penny and I were buds, but he chose to torment Laury, chasing her up the staircase nightly, a big fluffy pillow Laury’s only protection. If it hadn’t been for Penny, I envision Laury with a cat now, instead of her beloved Havanese pup.

Which brings us to Phoebe. I have mentioned her before. She is gorgeous, she is tiny, she is playful. She is everything you want a cat to be. And she used to love me. Rolling over for tummy rubs, grooming my hair nightly, insistently rubbing her head against me. She was mine, mine, mine.

And now it is over. She ignores me, she runs from me, she hops into Barb’s arms to spite me. What did I do? Did I forget to empty her litter box one evening? Did I leave her belly fur out of place or change my hair gel? Did I wake her from a sound sleep one Sunday morning leaving her with only 22 hours of sleep that day? I am heart-broken. I just can’t figure it out. Barb tries to console me, tells me it is all in my mind. But I know, and Phoebe knows. Nothing hurts like unrequited love. I am so depressed that I think I will need to build a new house. And Phoebe dear, I promise, I won’t forget the litter box.

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If you have some cat advice, or a good cat story. let me know!

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Color Choice Made Easy. It’s All Black or White.

That her face, at first just ghostly…

…turned a whiter shade of pale.

Procol Harum-1967

I am thrilled, absolutely ecstatic. Sherwin-Williams and Benjamin Moore are in agreement. The Color of the Year for 2016 is…white! Although Benjamin Moore calls it “Simple White” and Sherwin-Williams likes the name “Alabaster “, whatever you choose to call it, the two paint mavens have made my 2016 so much easier. When Barb asks me what color we should paint the master bedroom walls, I can just say “Alabaster, dear. And those kitchen cabinets you were worried about? I think we should go with Simple.” Our new house will be sooo hip.

But wait, life just got more complicated. Pantone is naming “Rose Quartz” and “Serenity” the Color of the Year. Two questions. First, who the heck is Pantone? Second, Mr. Pantone, whoever you are, aren’t “Rose Quartz” and “Serenity” two colors? And by the way, what kind of color is “Serenity” anyway? I suppose it could be worse. At least neither of those colors are the nightmare colors of the 50’s, avocado green or harvest gold. Though I am sure Mr. Pantone is considering that pair for 2017 Color of the Year candidates. He will just rename them “Felicity” and “Authenticity.”

You ask if there are any other important colors to keep in mind while we build the house? It took a little research on my part, but I was relieved to discover the National Foundation for the Preservation of Lawn Care has named “Green” as their Color of the Year for a record setting 134th year in a row. This jibes with the plans of the architect, the interior designer and Barb to have a green lawn, so unlike most things the design dream team agrees on, this is unlikely to cost me any extra money. The International Society of Astrophysicology has also proclaimed that 2016 will be the Year of the Yellow Sun. In the Society press release, their President noted that while there are a lot of red stars out in the cosmos, our sun seems to have a few billion years of yellowness left. Maybe solar panels will make sense after all. I have also verified that black is still the color for asphalt, so I have a pretty good idea of what our driveway will look like. And that will be perfect for any grandkids to draw their hopscotch court on. Have to keep every generation involved and happy.

Fortunately, the World Muntin Association is not naming a favorite color for 2016, so we are free to do our own thing on those. Speaking of muntins, Barb asked me to tell you all that I was LYING. The word muntin does NOT mean more money! But what does it matter. When it comes to spending more money on this house, I am waving the white flag. Just in time to honor the Color of the Year!

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If We Spend It, They Will Come

Get a good job with more pay

and you’re O.K.

Pink Floyd-1973

I haven’t been this excited about a hole in the ground since I was a kid on Farwell beach with a shovel and pail digging through the sand. Yes, we have broken ground (see below). Phase II has begun! Yesterday Barb met with the design/build team and our interior decorator. Enough brain power to stage a coup at Houzz. Lots of bagels, cookies and coffee. Three hours later, the architects parting words to Barb were, “Tell Les he better keep on working…hard!” So here are a few reasons why I dreamed of a new puppy last night instead of dreaming of retirement.

Living near a pond is a nicety. Triple-waterproofing your basement because you leave near a pond is a necessity.
The ~~damn~~ stylish window muntins. Did you know that “muntin” in Ye Olde English means “more money?”
Lots of different roofing choices. Why is it a surprise the decorator loves the style that is even more expensive than the expensive one we had picked out?
Delays cost money. Backhoe drivers don’t work on rainy days. We have been getting a lot of rain.
LED light bulbs. Pay extra now, hope to save later.
Back up power generator. Pay extra now, hope to never need it.
Chubb, the best homeowner’s insurance you can buy. Pay extra now, keep on paying extra forever.
Janet Yellen. 0.25% at a time.
We have a long way to go!

But the beat goes on. We will dig, we will build, we will survive. And to all of you out there planning on your own construction project–it’s all good!

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Ode to an Absent Bulldozer

Hangin’ around

Nothin’ to do but frown

The Carpenters–1971

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Three fourths of an acre

A suburban retreat

No hole in the ground

Not a trace of concrete.

The weather’s not bad

No rain in the air

Trucks could be digging

But the trucks are not there.

Contractors are missing

Got more jobs to do

They can’t spare us the time

We’re just part of the queue.

We try to be patient

That’s what we’ve been told

What a pain that will be

When the old house gets sold.

If I had a hammer

Some wood and some stone

Then I’d build this house

Construct my own home.

Some day it will happen

We will have a new niche

The sooner the better

All this waiting’s a bitch!

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Building A House; It’s Not a Sprint It’s a Marathon

You know where it ends, yo

it usually depends

on where you start.

“What it’s Like”, Everlast, 1998

“Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentleman, it’s a beautiful afternoon at Riverwoods Park. This is your racetrack announcer Phil Georgeff on the call as the horses come out for the final race, The Empty Nester Derby, a stakes race for seniors. We have eight magnificent contenders. The track is fast and we anticipate quick times, but you never know what surprises this course may hold.

The horses are at the gate, they’re at the gate…aaaaand they’re off! Gotta Buy a Lot takes the early lead, but is quickly eclipsed by Might Change Our Minds. It’s a two horse race for the first few furlongs. Now Might Change our Minds is fading as Gotta Buy a Lot reclaims her place at the head of the line.

Moving past the quarter mile pole, Banking Blues is really picking up speed and challenging the leaders. He gets in front and then slows down the pace! These horses are barely crawling around the track. Friends I have never seen anything like this before! Finally Financing in Place is shooting through a gap as his jockey sends an angry glare at Banking Blues. Banking Blues rider is dismounting in disgust! Even she can’t believe how slow her steed is running.

The horses are approaching the far turn with Draft Those Plans and Homeowners Association Rules dueling it out for the lead. These horses are really steaming Not a nose separates them. It is a battle royale as these magnificent horses pound the track. What’s this? Homeowners Association Rules’ jockey is pulling out a muntin and flogging Draft Those Plans! I’m telling you, this race has everything!

Here they come, spinning out of the turn. We have a new leader as Show em the Shingles gives a late kick and Homeowners Association Rules fades into the pack. And on the outside for the first time there is some action from Get that Permit. Get that Permit is roaring into the lead. But she is not alone. Village Fees is coming on strong. It neck and neck, nostrils flaring, as they thunder down the homestretch. Village Fees just seems to be getting bigger and bigger! But what’s this? Village Fees stumbles and at the wire it’s Get that Permit by an eyelash! Get that Permit is the winner.”

That’s right we have a construction permit! The building can commence, and you are here at the beginning. It’s like being with Elvis in Memphis, the Beatles in Hamburg or Springsteen in Asbury Park. So have fun and enjoy the ride, the next race, The Construction Stakes, is about to begin!

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Home Building; It’s Not A Sprint, It’s A Marathon

You know where it ends, yo

it usually depends

on where you start.

“What it’s Like”, Everlast, 1998

As always, feel free to comment, subscribe and share.

Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.