Tag: wedding

I Wrote A Review And 500 People Noticed. Here Is What It Was About.

I hate writing online reviews. After I order kitty poop-pan liners from Amazon, or after I have suffered through an intimate relationship between my gastroenterologist and my large intestine, I want to put those moments behind me. I don’t feel an urgency to write about them.

If a website I am perusing has an obtrusive popup asking me to complete a short survey after my visit is complete, I invariably say “no thank you.” And after a phone call to some far-off hotel or some local pharmacy, I can barely be moved to respond to “Enter 1 if the experience was Excellent, Enter 2 if it was not.”

I’m not a total curmudgeon, I’m just slightly curmudgeonly. I suspect that many, and possibly most, reviews on sites such as Amazon are bogus, and I don’t feel the need to add my views to all those 5-star reviews. If I really have a complaint about something I’ll try to go to the source and straighten things out.

So imagine my surprise when I received a congratulatory email from Google. With balloons flying I was notified that a review I had written (one of only 3 over the past 7 years) had now been read for the 500th time. Like a biblical prophet, I now see myself like an oracle shouting from on high.

What product or service had pushed me to break my usual misanthropic tendencies and write a review? Our daughter and son-in-law married a bit over five years ago. The wedding was a modestly opulent affair, and if I do say so myself, came off rather nicely.

I remember being impressed by the locale, by the food, and by the band. But apparently, I was most in awe of the floral arrangements. It was to the floral designer that I penned my glowing review–one that has been read an average of once every 3 days for the last 5 years (talk about a must-read!)

What did I say?

Yanni and Sylwia worked with us to design the wedding of our daughter’s dreams. They listened to her vision and ran with it. Walking into the room last Saturday night left us speechless. The flower arrangements were better then we could have imagined in the space. The collaborative effort over the past months between YDS and our family sure paid off!

That’s pretty damn positive coming from an old codger like me! And a Google search shows that Yanni Design Studio still exists, so consider this an unpaid advertisement to use the studio for your next wedding or over-the-top Bar Mitzvah.

Just be sure to invite me. I might want to write a review.

The Drake Wedding Rap

Give me a beat, boys!

I read the story, ‘cause it’s in the newspaper
About a building up for sale, no it’s not a skyscraper.
Yeah the Drake Hotel, it’s at the edge of downtown
Is on the trading block, it’s got Barb and me down.

The Drake is where we married in the distant past
After lots and lots of planning it happened at last.
November seventy-eight was the month that we did it
Just a few winter weeks before all the snowy white shit hit.

We got married in the ballroom in the hour after noon
Walking down the aisle while a flautist piped his tune.
“What I Did for Love” was the song that he was playing.
“We hope this all goes well,” is what the two of us were praying.

We had faml’y we had friends in the wedding party
And our Rabbi’s name was Ox, the dude was big and he was hearty.
Said our vows, put on rings, read some lines of Jewish prose
Then I smashed the crystal glass to the shouts of “Mazel Tov.”

We served a fancy lunch, I’m a guessin’ it was chicken
And after every course the big orchestra would kick in.
They played a slow waltz then they played a fast hora
It was fun in those days, no Spotify and no Pandora.

The band kept on playing and our friends they all kept dancing
And through the goings on, the daytime hours were advancing.
Some people made some speeches and more people made some toasts
And we gave a big shout-out to Barb’s parents who were hosts.

Now it’s been 42 years since we all partied at the Drake.
Did I forget to mention–we had a chocolate wedding cake?
The crumbs have long been eaten but the marriage stays strong
Barb and I are always knowing with each other we belong.

So whoever buys the Drake, don’t you dare go and destroy it
You gotta give new couples a fun day reason to enjoy it.
And we’ll come and have a drink and lead some lusty cheers
“Cause we’ll not forget the Drake after all of our years.

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