“Yeah, hi Adam, I’m Eve. No, I don’t know where I came from, all of a sudden I was just standing here, practically naked. All I can remember is some ephemeral force saying they were going to create me. Said there was a spare bone or something laying around and that you needed some company.

“So you been roving around here on your own for a while? That’s cool. Looks like life is pretty good, almost paradise. Oh, you say this IS paradise! I expected paradise would have a latte machine, but I guess this will do. No caffeine after 1 o’clock anyway or I can never get to sleep.

“How’s the food around here? Places to order-in from? You can build me a nice fancy fire pit, but I gotta tell you, I don’t cook.

“What about clothes? I hear fur is really in this year, though not sure why with all this never-ending sunshine. Oh, it gets cool at night? I’ll have to remember that.

“Talking about clothes, I just want to let you know,  I am NOT wearing heels. Those things kill my feet and besides, how’s a girl to run from charging rhinoceroses in 6-inch stilettos?  Though those new Choo’s I had a vision of would be great at stamping out snakes or serpents or whatever you call those creepy slithering things. Can you be a dear and try to find me a pair? Or two?

“So what’s this, you want me to sign a Non Disclosure Agreement? Your afraid some dude is gonna want to write a story about you someday, put millions of copies in print? And you don’t want me to tell stories about what really goes on here in the Garden? Things like the crazy ape party and the time you rode that elephant bare-assed? Or all those statues you bow down to and smoke a blunt with? Sure, I’m cool, I’ll sign. Besides, what would you do if I broke the agreement? Sue me? LOL! There are no lawyers in paradise!

“Hey, my blood sugar is getting low, I need a snack — want to split an apple?

 

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