I’m deep into Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli, Mark Seal’s book detailing the perilous circumstances under which the first Godfather movie was produced. The telling of the story highlights the contentious relationship between Paramount Studio’s Robert Evans and the movie’s director Francis Ford Coppola. Casting issues (Is Marlon Brando washed up? Who the hell is Al Pacino?), financial issues, and Mob issues all played a part in the grueling challenge of making what was to become one of America’s favorite films.

There is nothing that could be more complex than the making of that award-winning movie. Nothing, that is except planning a family vacation to Orlando and the wonderful world of theme parks.

Think Coppola had a hard time figuring out his shooting schedule? Try scheduling a vacation week with three families, 6 adults, and 4 grandkids. We didn’t want a week that was likely to be too cold; we didn’t want a week that would be too rainy; we didn’t want a week that spring breakers would be mobbing the parks; we didn’t want a week that would mean pulling the kids out of too much school.

Finally, after some heads of the families had a sit-down (our families, NOT Mob families) we picked an appropriate week. Then, just as the production assistants for The Godfather had to scout out acceptable shooting locations, we had to investigate all accommodations within a 20-mile radius of the theme parks to find the right one. As mentioned a few months ago, we have found a rental house we can all agree to live in and with. Lots of theme-park-inspired bedrooms, a big kitchen, and a nice private pool. Not too shabby.

Also, we have managed to snag decent rates on a couple of SUVs. These days, that is as hard to do as finding a good horsehead. Though as Seinfeld would say, “National knows how to take a reservation, let’s see if they know how to keep a reservation.”

The automobiles may have been cheap, but now we come to the inevitable cost overruns. Filming the movie went way over budget, and it looks like our trip will as well.

For those of you who haven’t been at a theme park in a few decades, things have changed since your last visit. You no longer receive a book of A, B, C, and D ride coupons free with every admission ticket. Now the price of admission is only a start–and will do nothing other than put you at the end of very long lines for any attraction you want to experience.

To actually enjoy a theme park visit you must consider park-hopper plans and magic wand tickets and VIP tours. Want to ride the Hogwarts Express? You better have paid for same-day admission to both halves of Universal. Comparing and selecting from all the options is beyond the capabilities of even the most advanced artificial intelligence. My chatGPT program informed me it would rather destroy itself than plan the best route through Disney. All in all, a day at a theme park probably will cost us more than Diane Keaton earned for her entire role as Kay–or John Cazale as Fredo for that matter.

As we know, despite all the hardships, The Godfather was made. The Godfather 2 was made. Regrettably, even The Godfather 3 was made. If Hollywood can do that, we can successfully do a trip to Orlando, and have fun doing it. And if anyone tries to stop us, we’ll just make ’em an offer they can’t refuse.