Mommy Vs. Marshall. Who Can Stop A Five-Year-Old’s Tears

A couple of nights ago, Barb and I shared a small nighttime crisis with our grandchildren, 5 1/2-year-old Nat and 2 1/2-year-old Molly.

Our daughter Laury and her family have been living with us recently while their home is being remodeled. Tuesday night, to allow Laury and Alex to celebrate their anniversary with a dinner out, Barb and I took over bedtime duty in our kid-friendly loft.

Getting washed up and into PJs went smoothly. Barb read a chapter from The Wizard of Oz and we followed that by singing our personalized version of the Mickey Mouse Club theme song, a tradition that goes back to when our own two children were young.

“Kids, tomorrow morning I have a special surprise for you, ” I said, as Nat and Molly took our hands and we walked to their Jack and Jill bedrooms.

“What is it?” they asked in unison.

“Tomorrow!” I reminded them.

Final bedtime preparation went swimmingly until Nat’s face scrunched up, and his rapidly blinking blue eyes fought to hold back his tears. We expected to hear him cry for his mommy, but that wasn’t his issue.

Nat had done an inventory of his “stuffies,” the stuffed animals that share his bed at night, and discovered that one of his favorites, Marshall, the Fire Rescue Paw Patrol pup, was missing.

“Where is he???” Nat moaned.

As his tears flowed with worry we searched everywhere–under the soft yellow covers; under the bed; in the bathroom sink. Marshall wasn’t anywhere. He had vanished and Nat was inconsolable.

I quickly realized that finding Marshall was a lost cause and that we needed a good distraction. I struggled to think what might calm the young boy down enough to let him fall asleep. And then I remembered my planned surprise.

“Nat, if I show you tomorrow’s surprise right now, will that help you stop worrying about Marshall and fall asleep?” I asked.

“I think so,” he whispered, wiping his tears. “Maybe.”

“Come sit next to me and we can look inside this box,” I said, gesturing to a pink file box I had unearthed in a cupboard an hour earlier.

We opened the box to find a stack of Laury’s old school photos, craft projects, letters from camp, and more.

As he saw the first picture, Nat exclaimed, “That’s my mommy!” At the thrill of seeing Laury’s memorabilia, Marshall the missing rescue dog was quickly forgotten.

We went through the box, laughing at school pictures from each grade, group shots from Banner Day Camp, and ensembles from Miss Marsha’s Dance Studio. Nat eagerly hunted for Laury in every shot. And where did we find her in each photograph? In the front row, of course!

“Mommy was so little!” Nat declared with surprise and delight.

“Yes, she was–but she grew up, and you will too,” Barb promised Nat as she pulled the covers over his tired body. “And now it’s bedtime. When you wake up, Mommy and Daddy will be home, and we will all get together and find Marshall.”

And that is what we did. It’s so much fun to make new family memories while we remember old ones!

The Godfather Meets The Mouse

I’m deep into Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli, Mark Seal’s book detailing the perilous circumstances under which the first Godfather movie was produced. The telling of the story highlights the contentious relationship between Paramount Studio’s Robert Evans and the movie’s director Francis Ford Coppola. Casting issues (Is Marlon Brando washed up? Who the hell is Al Pacino?), financial issues, and Mob issues all played a part in the grueling challenge of making what was to become one of America’s favorite films.

There is nothing that could be more complex than the making of that award-winning movie. Nothing, that is except planning a family vacation to Orlando and the wonderful world of theme parks.

Think Coppola had a hard time figuring out his shooting schedule? Try scheduling a vacation week with three families, 6 adults, and 4 grandkids. We didn’t want a week that was likely to be too cold; we didn’t want a week that would be too rainy; we didn’t want a week that spring breakers would be mobbing the parks; we didn’t want a week that would mean pulling the kids out of too much school.

Finally, after some heads of the families had a sit-down (our families, NOT Mob families) we picked an appropriate week. Then, just as the production assistants for The Godfather had to scout out acceptable shooting locations, we had to investigate all accommodations within a 20-mile radius of the theme parks to find the right one. As mentioned a few months ago, we have found a rental house we can all agree to live in and with. Lots of theme-park-inspired bedrooms, a big kitchen, and a nice private pool. Not too shabby.

Also, we have managed to snag decent rates on a couple of SUVs. These days, that is as hard to do as finding a good horsehead. Though as Seinfeld would say, “National knows how to take a reservation, let’s see if they know how to keep a reservation.”

The automobiles may have been cheap, but now we come to the inevitable cost overruns. Filming the movie went way over budget, and it looks like our trip will as well.

For those of you who haven’t been at a theme park in a few decades, things have changed since your last visit. You no longer receive a book of A, B, C, and D ride coupons free with every admission ticket. Now the price of admission is only a start–and will do nothing other than put you at the end of very long lines for any attraction you want to experience.

To actually enjoy a theme park visit you must consider park-hopper plans and magic wand tickets and VIP tours. Want to ride the Hogwarts Express? You better have paid for same-day admission to both halves of Universal. Comparing and selecting from all the options is beyond the capabilities of even the most advanced artificial intelligence. My chatGPT program informed me it would rather destroy itself than plan the best route through Disney. All in all, a day at a theme park probably will cost us more than Diane Keaton earned for her entire role as Kay–or John Cazale as Fredo for that matter.

As we know, despite all the hardships, The Godfather was made. The Godfather 2 was made. Regrettably, even The Godfather 3 was made. If Hollywood can do that, we can successfully do a trip to Orlando, and have fun doing it. And if anyone tries to stop us, we’ll just make ’em an offer they can’t refuse.

Five Things We Get From Our Parents

Isn’t it ironic…

…don’t you think?

Alanis Morissette-1995

There is a bit of hoopla this year about the 20th anniversary of the release of “Jagged Little Pill,” the Alanis Morisssette album that, at least for awhile, turned the young singer-songwriter into a superstar. Laury was 9 at the time and wanted to buy the album, featuring the song “You Oughta Know”, but Barb and I objected. The lyrics were even more blatantly sexual than the usual pop music of the time. In a bit of irony, “You Oughta Know” reached our car CD player anyway, by means of the “1996 Grammy Award Nominees” CD. Alanis got her Grammys, and Laury got her song on her dad’s CD player. I hope Alanis has turned out OK, I know Laury has.

As parents we try to bring up our kids in a way that will make them safe and, we hope, reflect who and what we are. In some places and times this becomes impossible, and as Chicagoans and most of the country have read this week, the results can be tragic. But I am a little pensive this morning, thinking about just what got passed from generation to generation, l’dor v’ v’dor.

Physical appearance–I look in the mirror every morning and see Dad staring back at me. The physical resemblance is now striking. I am taller and a bit huskier, but as far as facial features and hair color, I have become the man my father was at this stage in his life. Michael is following our pathway too. A very dominant Y chromosome.
A sense of commitment–I know that Dad woke every morning at 4:10 to make the journey via CTA bus and the El to his white color job, arriving at by 7 a.m on the dot. No complaints, it is just what he did 6 and occasionally 7 days a week. I follow that almost obsessive pattern, but at least I have modified it to 5 days a week at 5:05. And no need to wait outside in the rain or snow at a bus stop. Dad never learned to drive, I sure as hell did!
Love for a good read–There are three reading habits I picked up from Dad. Time Magazine every week (something I still do), Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine every month (something I fear I have grown away from), and a good novel anytime (something I still love.) Right now I am in the middle of three novels–a Joseph Finder audio CD in the car, a Daniel Silva hardcopy on my nightstand, and “Day of Atonement” on my Kindle for a book club I am joining. Dad would be proud.
Love of baseball–The only sport that Dad enjoyed watching. A love he passed to me, a love I have passed to Michael. Dad never saw a championship, I got mine ten years ago, Michael’s may be right around the corner.
Our lifespan–OK, this one is not precise. But we know that genetics do play a role in how long we will be around. And here is the irony. Dad died from widely metastatic prostate cancer and, quite coincidentally, I am spending this part of my professional career diagnosing and aiding the treatment of men with the same disease. I get my annual PSA, I run and raise money for Prostate Cancer Awareness, I gave up red meat (right, yeah, how long did that one last?) Hopefully the good karma will help me combat any bad gene juju that may have gotten passed down the line.

Not much on the house…signed a few papers for the Homeowners Association and now they have officially blessed us. I suppose they used Holy Water from the pond next to the lot. May the Good Lord have us digging before the pond becomes an ice rink.

OK–we got somber and introspective today. Have a great weekend and I promise lots of laughs by Monday!

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If You are A Parent, or Have Ever Had One–The Forever Plan is for You

And don’t it seem like a long time…

…seem like a long time…

…seem like a long, long time.

Rod Stewart–1971

I am not sure if it quite qualifies as my favorite album, but Mod Rod’s masterpiece is the only recording I have ever bought in both the vinyl and CD versions. The album lays mouldering in a box in the basement (note to self–need to purge basement miscellaneous prior to move), but I still pull out the CD every once in a while. And I believe “Maggie May” may be the most played song on my playlist, just edging out “Sultans of Swing”.

Songs aren’t the only thing that lives forever. This weekend Barb and I upgraded our phones. Sunday night at a family dinner celebrating our anniversary, our 29 year old daughter Laury, an experienced math teacher, living in the city for years, asked if she was still included on our plan. She has taken the phone carrier’s “Family Plan” one step further and created “The Forever Plan.” With the “Forever Plan” some things just go on and on. Here are the features of the “Forever Plan.”

Cell phone charges. The “Forever Plan” state the adult child’s iPhone charges must be paid for on the parent’s cell phone plan long as a potential carrier exists. This does not mean aforementioned child is under obligation to ever call parents.
Health insurance. The Affordable Care Act has made this automatic on parent’s policies until the child hits age 26. With the “Forever Plan” there is no limit. Your adult children can be part of your plan until you hit Medicare age.
Auto Insurance. Your child lives in the city and parks on the street, but under the “Forever Plan” you tell your insurance agent they still live in your suburban home and park in the garage. Lower premiums, but of course they are paid by the parents.
Pet services. Parents must always be available to watch the dog, cat, parakeet or gold fish, no questions asked. Must also be available to respond to “The dog ate the Halloween candy. What do I do?” question at short notice.
Emergency Road Service. Parents must always be available to assist at the site of a dead battery or overheated radiator. At a recent party, two sets of parents were obliged to interrupt there evening to respond to their adult children on this one. We are actually pretty proud that last time that Laury had a dead battery she did NOT call us.
Home Repair Service. Under the “Forever Plan” washing machines are fixed, TV sets installed and toilets plunged. On repairs taking over 3 hours, the parent will bill the child for a large margherita pizza.
Grandchild care. Ok, we would pay for the privilege of this one!

By the way, no insurance agent will sell you the “Forever Plan.” Why do parents do all this? We do it because we love our kids, the adults they have grown into and partnered with, and the choices they have made. If the plan was for sale, the premium would of course be priceless!

Now on to the home building. Barb is visiting a window showroom with the architect today. She will get to see the muntins first hand. For those of you unfamiliar with our muntin situation, here is a look back. Still not in for permits, but we hope to have a hole in the ground before the first frost. Anyone betting against us?

Kudos and Attaboy to buddy Roger, the only reader to correctly identify our Halloween costume. Some of you recognized Barb and I as Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons, but only Roger added in the berets, the striped shirts and the cravats to come up with FRENCH KISS. Now I understand why both Roger and I have been on TV game shows. Our minds are just warped enough.

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