Hey fellow Democrats, have I got a plan for you!

I hatched the whole plot on a chilly, sunny, day earlier this week. Walking into the house I saw my reflection in the glass door pane. And for a split-second, just for an instant, I thought I was looking at our nation’s Commander-in-Chief, our President, the Honorable Joseph R. Biden. Maybe it was the sunglasses, maybe it was the white hair, but the slight resemblance was there.

Now, this similarity is not necessarily complimentary to me. After all, Joe B is 14 years older than I am. But for Democratic voters, those 14 years are the problem, and I am the solution.

We all remember the movie Dave, right? Kevin Kline stars as a nobody who happens to look like the President, and is recruted to impersonate him after the President suffers a secret stroke. My plan, and you need to hear me out on this, is to let me be this year’s Dave!

The 2024 Presidential Election is right around the corner. We anticipate that Good Ole Joe will announce his plans to run for re-election shortly. The issue with that re-election run is that too many potential Biden voters are concerned about the President’s age.

What, they worry, will happen if Biden suffers a stroke, a heart attack, or a sudden death. Are we all comfortable with Kamala Harris assuming the Presidency, temporarily or gasp, permanently? Might that fear push some centrist Dems, some staunch independents, and some RINO/Never-Trumper Republicans to all get behind a semi-sane GOP candidate such as Nikki Haley? Will we have to suffer a potential red wave on the horizon?

I think we need to change the impression of Biden as old and ready to fall down in a stiff breeze–and do it now, while there is still time. So let me be the Prez’s stand-in. I can sign bills (if a divided Congress can pass any) with a flourish. I can give State of the Union addresses and then cartwheel down the aisles of the Senate Chamber. I can be videoed doing my sweaty morning regimen of elliptical riding, push-ups, and planks. I’d even submit to some bare-chested shots à la Putin. All to show a hale and healthy “Biden” that people would be comfortable voting for.

I realize this opportunity will necessitate a move to the DC area and secret living arrangements. Now that I am retired I can do that. I just have to make sure that nobody inside the Beltway recognizes me, especially not my nephew and his wife. They tend to be Republican and might spill the beans.

I do realize that there is a risk that the real President might suffer an incapacitating incident or perhaps even expire while in office. I will just carry on the ruse, Weekend at Bernie’s style. Mr. Biden’s State Funeral will have to wait until his term is over.

So, Democratic National Party, I am waiting to hear from you. I think we can make it work, don’t you?