For What It’s Worth-Revisited

In the 1960s we had protest songs. We had Dylan, we had McGuire, we had Country Joe. Pete Seeger was temporarily banned for Big Muddy and Roger Daltry stuttered to his generation. And we had Buffalo Springfield. Stephen Stills, Neil Young, Richie Furay, et al, asking what it was all worth. The harrowing lyric “Step out of line, the men come and take you away.”

Anne and I thought it was time to give those lyrics an update–of course, our lyrics are from a lefty point of view. I hope Stephen doesn’t mind.

For What It’s Worth

2020

Strange things are happening here.
What they are is abundantly clear.
There’s a man, with a blond head of hair,
Driving me and my friends to despair.

You know it’s time we stop.
Blue states, coming round.
Need someone,
To knock him down.

Mods and Left are fighting long.
Want to know which side you belong.
Primary fights – it’s such a grind,
It’s no wonder Joe Biden was outshined.

It’s time we stop.
Blue states, coming round.
Need someone,
To knock Trump down.

There’s some love now for young Pete.
With Amy’s troops he will compete.
But Bernie’s Bros thinks it’s their time,
While Bloomberg’s bucks have him solid on cloud nine.

We better stop.
Blue states, coming round.
Just one chance,
To knock Trump down

For more years of this “bleep”.
Consequences way too steep.
Don’t want Trump leading my parade.
Make him mad you know he’s gonna make you pay.

We better stop.
Blue states, coming round.
Or Constitution’s
Coming down.

We better stop.
Blue states, coming round.
It’s our best chance,
To knock Trump down.

Stop now….

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A Loud Lady Tells The World How To Beat Trump

Hi, it’s Anne. Remember me?

I couldn’t watch either of the big events. No, I couldn’t watch him preen at his State of the Union address, though I did see the SloMo replay of Nancy shredding paper a few dozen times. And I couldn’t watch the impeachment farce vote. All that hypocrisy.

But what comes next? Along with the Iowa Caucus fiasco, the whole march to a never-going-to-convict impeachment reminded me of how clueless the Democratic party can be. Need more examples? Remember the Affordable Care Act rollout? Remember Hillary’s campaign?

My problem is that I agree with most of the ideals that the various parts of the Democratic Party support. Things like religious and sexual freedom from government interference. Things like available, affordable, health care. Things like a patched-up safety net, preferably one with some “bounce-back ” springs built in. Things like a belief in science. But how do we get there?

Here are this crazy lady’s suggestions to get Trump out of the White House before it is too late and we solidify the Age of Trump and his minions. You know who they are-President Ivanka, President Don Jr., President Barron.

HOW TO BEAT TRUMP

Screw the long, drawn-out primary system this year. Iowa has already shown us what can go wrong. Get all the potential candidates in a back room and come up with ONE candidate who can win the key swing states. To me, it’s someone from the center, because this is the year to WIN, not the year to push a particular agenda.
Let everyone else withdraw from the primaries. Think of the money you can all save.
Inspire those looking toward a more revolutionary approach with a Vice-Presidential candidate that will be ready to lead in 4 or 8 years. Surely any drastic overhaul in our way of life can wait that long if it accomplishes deTrumpification in November.
Every Democratic leader, from the most northern Aleutian Island to the southern-most Florida Key, needs to offer strong support to the chosen candidate. No back-biting. No “It should have been me’s.” UNITE, UNITE, UNITE.
Mike Bloomberg, keep spending your millions. But spend them in support of the candidate of a united Democratic party, not yourself.
Mitt Romney, your “profile in courage” impeachment vote was a nice start, but you have so much more to do. Run for President on a third party. Any third party! It was rumored that you would do it in 2016. Now is the time. You have no chance to win, but you can be a spoiler, siphoning off the votes of any Republicans who haven’t lost their mind to Trump Nation. Be the Ralph Nader we need.
Get out the vote!

This may be my fantasy. But we can do this! Share the word!

Anne U Phylaxis borrows this blog from Les every once in a while. Write to her at anne.u.phylaxis@columnist.com

photo credit: cszar Say Aah via photopin (license)_

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Do You Know This Man?

Sometimes, when I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep, I run lists or floor plans through my semi-sedated brain. What was the address of every home I have ever lived in? What was the layout of the apartment my family moved to in 1963? What was the name of every First Lady in my lifetime?

Usually, I know the answer. It may be a hard-wired, obvious answer (Jackie Kennedy) and sometimes I have to ponder a bit (you could get to the front balcony from either the door in my bedroom or climbing out the left living room window.) But I usually don’t stump myself.

That is, I didn’t stump myself until last night. My 2 a.m. puzzle was to remember every vice-presidential major party candidate from 1960-2016 (yes, my night time mind-rambles are very specific.) I was doing quite well, zooming through Miller and Humphrey and Edward. Gore was a no-brainer and so was Bush (H.W, who was Reagan’s VP; not W. who was no one’s VP.) The ladies, Ferraro and Palin, lit up my temporal lobe, although I had to kick out Tina Fey and Julia-Louis Dreyfuss as neither was ever really a candidate. A pity.

So what was it that finally tied my mind up in political knots? It turned out I had no idea, not a clue, as to who ran for vice-president in 2016 alongside Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. Yes, there was someone running for vice-president less than 4 years ago even less memorable than Mike Pence, the cipher from Indiana (or Dan Quayle, the other cipher from Indiana.)

Ladies and gentlemen, in case you have forgotten, the man who won the popular vote for VP in 2016 was (drum roll) Tim Kaine, Senator from Virginia. Admit it, you didn’t remember that either. Mr. Kaine has remained in the Senate, even winning re-election in his home state in 2018. But if he was on “I’ve Got a Secret” I bet he could stump the panel with his skeleton in the closet. “I was a vice-presidential candidate in 2016.”

It seems that in this, the Age of Trump, everything else fades into oblivion. One can only hope this age will fade soon, too.

A shout out to Andrea Eisen, who correctly answered last week’s trivia question. She correctly identified John Sebastian as the only artist to have a #1 Billboard hit in the 1970s with a TV theme song (Welcome Back from Welcome Back, Kotter.)

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Don’t Fence Me In.

The text message popped up on my phone early this month.

“We need 98 people to renew their memberships before Trump takes the stage at a rally in Toledo tonight. Yours expired. Renew now.”

The text came with a link to NRSC.news. A little Google research for “NRSC” turned up the National Republic Senatorial Committee. Huh? Had I ever been a member of a Republican senate fundraising group?

Anyone who has met me, or has read a blog of mine or my co-correspondent Anne would probably have a pretty good guess that I have not been supporting many Republican candidates for Senate or for anything else. I have voiced my support for anyone running against Donald Trump.

So I was a loss as to how the Republicans got me on their message blast list. I didn’t pay it much attention, even after getting a follow-up text saying I was now listed as LAPSED (their caps.) Well, maybe I cheered a bit when I found out I had lapsed. Hoorah!

Then before sunrise this morning I was reading a column by Thomas Edsall in the New York Times, discussing how superior the Republicans are to the Democrats in digital marketing. The column detailed a technique called “geofencing.” It’s a technology that allows an agency to set a “digital rope” around a particular area and capture the cell numbers of any phone passing into the zone. And a conservative advocacy group called CatholicVote.org has been particularly effective in circling Catholic churches and texting people who enter them. And no, they haven’t been advocating for Bernie or Amy or Joe.

Could I have somehow been roped in? I am a semi-observant Jewish boy who rarely enters a synagogue, much less a church. No way I could have been marked as a church goer. And then the sun rose and the dawn came and I had a revelation. I had been to a Catholic church recently.

You see, I have a new great-niece, the daughter of my fantastic nephew and his more fantastic wife, and we were happy to celebrate the baby’s combined “Hebrew Naming – Baptism” ceremony with the family. The baby naming was at a restaurant (by definition, Jewish ceremonies involve food) and the lovely baptism ceremony was, of course, was in a church.

So perhaps I have been fenced. To be clear, this would have been accomplished by an outside agency, not someone from the local church or at the ceremony. And maybe my blurbs from the NRSC are totally unrelated.

In any case, it is good to be aware of the various means of digital tracking we can come into contact with every day. Remember, someone is always watching, listening, and whispering into our ears.

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photo credit: Timothy Valentine Chatham Beach and Tennis Club via photopin (license)

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This Loud Chick give Hillary a Kick

Hey kids, I’m back again. Enough of you like me so that the Master of this Domain has invited me back for another blurb. And, as a great lady once (many times?) said, “Can we talk?”

Hillary Clinton. I supported her. I marched for her. I voted for her. I thought I knew her. And then in her most important interview in years she sabotages me. Me, and you, and all of us who are sick of this “man of his word” Donald Trump.

Hillary, you say you don’t like Bernie Sanders. You say nobody likes Bernie Sanders. Maybe you think you lost the last election because of him (doubtful.) Fine, that is your opinion. Don’t you know that now is the time to keep it to yourself?

I’m sure not a Bernie Bro, or a Bernie Sis (is there such a thing?) but would support him if he were the Democratic candidate for President. But no one cares what I say. You, on the other hand, have national recognition and a national voice. Why use it now in any way that can hurt a potential Trump slayer? Are you looking for a brokered convention where your name could suddenly reappear? Geez, I sure hope not.

I know on the debate stage, the survivors take shots at each other. But once they leave the island (Harris, O’Rourke, Castro, et al.) have been keeping their mouth’s shut. Cruz and Rubio mastered the art in 2016. Why did you blow it four years later?

I know you have back-tracked and tweeted you would support any candidate against the Trumpster. Good for you, Madame Secretary. Get with the act, and maybe this time the Democrats can beat “the basket of deplorables.” And then I won’t care what you say about Bernie or President Amy or President Elizabeth.

Regular readers: If you miss Les, I am sure he will be back soon.

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Forget the Super Bowl–It’s “The Primary Shuffle”

In honor of tonight’s upcoming debate, it’s

THE PRIMARY SHUFFLE

We are the Dems Primary Crew
We’re all here, with thoughts for you
We run in Iowa, we run in New Hampshire
We’re trying to show our presidential stature
There’s a dozen of us, or maybe more
Remembering our names is a statistician’s chore
We don’t want to burst anybody’s bubble
We just want to win the Primary Shuffle

My name is Warren and I got plans
The Prez thinks I’m Poci, he don’t understand
I’m the Iron Lady that looks like your teacher
I’ll never hear you say that say you want to impeach her
You told me Medicare for All was a real non-starter
I’m ditching that intention, I ain’t no martyr
I’m going to debate and show my mental muscle
My biggest plan is “Win the Primary Shuffle.”

I’m Sleepy Joe Biden been around forever
People say that I’m nice, not many say that I’m clever
Obama and me, we made a really good team
For eight long years, we were the liberal’s dream
I took credit for the good, and I dissed the bad
Yeah my son is Hunter, I’ll disown that lad
His relation to Ukraine I’m going to have to muffle
If I want to win the Primary Shuffle.

Don’t you know I’m Bernie, the loud talking guy
I yell and I point, don’t really know why
I’m way to the left, I’m the socialist leader
Warren thinks she’s me, but I’m going to defeat her.
My heart attack, well that’s really no factor
Let Larry David step in, he’s a damn good actor
Capitalism is dead, just hand me the shovel
And I’ll be on top of the Primary Shuffle.

I’m Mayor Pete, I’m a down-home boy
I come from Indiana, near Barack’s Illinois
You can’t say my last name? I don’t blame ya’
I just want to stay running, at least ’til Pennsylvania
I’m sorta in the center, I’ll be the moderate winner
Though in national stuff I’m barely a beginner
What I want from you is not too subtle
I need your vote in the Primary Shuffle.

We’re the late coming pair, we couldn’t be dumber
We thought we’d get away without running in the summer
Yeah I’m Billionaire Mike, I fixed New York City
Pushing Stop and Frisk, I guess it wasn’t very pretty
And I’m Deval Patrick, former Governor of Mass
I don’t go negative, I just show a lot of class
We’re so late, lots of feathers we can ruffle
As we make our first move in the Primary Shuffle.

Here’s the rest of us, we hope you still remember
Amy, Cory and Camilla, we were news last December.
Andy Yang is here, gonna give you all a bonus
It’s a lousy plan, he hopes that you won’t notice
We waved goodbye, to Kirsten, Beat and Hickenlooper
Their campaigns ’til they dropped put us all in a stupor
We’ll never figure out all the parts in the puzzle
We’re all gonna lose the Primary Shuffle.

We are the Dems Primary Crew
We think we can win but we don’t have a clue
We want to save the nation from its current corruption
‘Cause we’re sick of DC’s daily tweeting eruption
So go to the polling place and make your choice
One of us has got to be the people’s best voice
It’s up to you, so choose one on the double
Which candidate will win the Primary Shuffle.

The above is the opinion of the author and not UroPartners LLC

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A Trump – Biden Solution. You Can Both Be Heroes

Hey, Joe! How about taking one for the team? You, know, be like the guy who fakes an injury and goes on the Disabled List* so the rookie phenom can be brought up from Double-A ball. I’m not asking you to pretend to tear a rotator cuff or have a phony stroke to match Bernie’s real one. But how about you make a little deal. You call up President Donald Trump, or communicate along some of those nefarious back-channels, and let him know if he resigns you will drop out of the Democratic primary race.

That’s quite a trade-off. Give up your life long ambition, your unrequited dream, your guiding force. Toss it all in. Why? Well. for one thing, your support seems to be stalled, if not outright fading. The betting odds are against you. While your fans love your humanity, you just don’t seem to break the image of sleepy old Joe. Why not be forever known as the guy who convinced Donald Trump to “retire?” Become immortal!

So if would be a no-brainer for Joe. But why, you ask, would the President ever agree to such an outlandish proposition? Let’s look at this carefully for Donald:

Impeachment by the House is a foregone conclusion. The Republican defense of your actions keeps changing, while the evidence of wrong-doing keeps piling up. Sure you will be acquitted by the Senate, but do you really want to go down as history as only the 3rd impeached President? Join a trio including Andrew Who Johnson, and Bill Lock-Him-Up Clinton? Even Tricky-Dick Nixon had the sense to resign rather than be dragged through an impeachment, though in those days the Republican Party had guts to fry their own.
You will get Joe Biden, a guy you don’t seem to like, out of the picture. And with Joe gone the Dems are even more likely to nominate one of those two lefties Warren or Sanders. And that can give the GOP a great chance of holding the presidency in 2020. Which brings us to Reason #3.
With the Trump name less smudged your offspring will have a clearer path to their political fame (and fortune.) Give Ivanka or Donald Jr. a fighting chance for a Presidential run. Even Jared the K might have big ambitions. Resign now and at least one of them will have plenty of time to nail the 2020 nomination. No need to let the Presidential term of Mike Pence last longer than a year or so-just long enough to grant you a pardon (see Nixon-Ford et al, 1974.) And Nikki Hailey? Forget about it. You are gonna be Trumped.

So Donald and Joe, let’s make a deal. Monty Hall may be long gone (and a Canadian to boot,) but I will be glad to broker the deal. Call me up any night this week–except Friday, that’s our babysitting night. There is only so much I can give up for my country.

The opinions expressed are those of the author and not UroPartners LLC.

*To all my baseball buddies: Yes I know it is now the Injured List, but unPC or not, it will always be the DL to me. Deal with it, snowflakes.

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He May Be and Ahole, But He’s Our Ahole

A few years ago, Barb and I were at the funeral of a senior member of a family we have known for many years. The service in the chapel was well attended, and the mood appropriately somber. Members of several generations succeeded each other at the lectern, each speaking in glowing terms of their grandpa or uncle or cousin. But buried in each eulogy was a kernel of a hidden truth. Their grandpa or uncle or cousin had done and said things that really weren’t that nice, that didn’t really jive with the image of the kindly old gentleman who had been a loving, hugging, role model. The orators’ love for the old man was real, but what they were really saying was “he was an a**hole but he was our a**hole, and we loved him.”

Sound familiar? Remind anyone of a man who lies, cheats, uses, denigrates and knows no limits, but is loved, not just by his family, but by millions? Because (they think) he is theirs? After all, he gives them things. Things like significant tax breaks (for a minuscule portion of his supporters,) fame (if you are cable news talking head,) and satisfaction (if sticking it to the coastal –and Chicago– liberal elites bring you satisfaction.) And he brings judges. He is giving you and me lots of judges. A legacy that will long outlive his potentially short reign.

But let’s be real. President Donald Trump doesn’t belong to the people, or the party, or the Congressfolk who support him. He sure doesn’t belong to Ukraine’s president, Volodymyr Zelenskiy (nor should he.) All are just the tools for him to use at will. As Bill Taylor, the acting US ambassador to Ukraine reported during his testimony yesterday, Trump cared more about framing Joe Biden then helping the Ukrainian people.

Yet his hordes still love him. And if you love someone, you defend them and ignore their faults. You set-up “straw man” arguments, you create a lot of “what about Hillary?” scenarios, and you dive into “global climate change is a Chinese hoax” schemes while the seas rise and the polar vortices rage.

But you know what? He may be your a**hole, but that doesn’t make him mine. The Senate won’t remove him from office by an impeachment trial, we all know that. And in a year he has plenty of time to upset a lot more applecarts and allies. But fellow never-Trumpers, of any and all political stripes, let’s nominate someone wise, someone with breadth and courage, someone to lead. Someone who is nobody’s a**hole. Amen.

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The above is the opinion of the author and not UroPartners, LLC.

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Monty Python and the Whistleblower. Say No more!

A third whistleblower has been found! His account of the infamous phone call is somewhat different than previous accounts!

Presidents Trump and Zelensky on the phone:
Trump: Can you investigate Biden? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? No quid pro quo. No quid pro quo. Know what I mean? Say no more…know what I mean?
Zelensky: I beg your pardon?
Trump: Your country, does it er, does it investigate – eh? eh? eh? Know what I mean, know what I mean? No quid pro quo. Say no more.
Zelensky: Well, it sometimes investigates, yes.
Trump: I bet it does. I bet it does. I bet it does. Know what I mean? No quid pro quo.
Zelensky: I’m sorry, I don’t quite follow you.
Trump: Follow me. Follow me. I like that. That’s good. A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat, eh?
Zelensky: Are you trying to sell something?
Trump: Selling, selling. Military aid. Very good. Very good. Oh, wicked. Wicked. You’re wicked. Eh? Military aid. Know what I mean. Know what I mean? No quid pro quo. Know what I mean? No quid pro quo. No quid pro quo. Say…no…more. Military…aid.
Zelensky: But…
Trump: Your investigators… are they, eh… are they good Eh?
Zelensky: They are good, yes!
Trump: I bet they are, I bet they are!
Zelensky: They investigate corruption as a matter of fact.
Trump: Who doesn’t, eh? Know what I mean. Likes spying, likes spying. Knew they would. Knew they would. Likes spying, eh? They’ve been around, eh? Been around?
Zelensky: They are good. Trained in Kiev.
Trump: Oh…oh. Say no more, say no more. Say no more – Kiev, say no more. Kiev, eh? Know what I mean, know what I mean. Say no more.
Zelensky: (about to speak; can’t think of anything to say)
Trump: Your investigators interested in er… military aid, eh? Know what I mean? Military aid, ‘he asked knowingly’.
Zelensky: Military aid?
Trump: Yes. No quid pro quo. Missiles, missiles. Grin grin, wink wink, say no more?
Zelensky: Missiles?
Trump: Could be, could be missiles. Could be yes – tanks. Know what I mean. Tanks and missiles. Know what I mean, No quid pro quo.
Zelensky: Look, are you insinuating something?
Trump: Oh…no…no… Yes.
Zelensky: Well?
Trump: Well. I mean. Er, I mean. You’re a man of the world, aren’t you…I mean, er, you’ve er… you’ve been there haven’t you…I mean you’ve been around…eh?
Zelensky: What do you mean?
Trump: Well I mean like you’ve er…you’ve done it…I mean like, you know…you’ve…er…you’ve tried to tell the truth.
Zelensky: Yes.
Trump: What’s it like?

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An Open Letter to the Leaders of My Party

To the Leaders and Presidential Candidates of the Democratic Party:

I have faithfully voted for every one of your Presidential Candidates from Georgia’s Jimmy Carter to Arkansas’ Hillary Clinton. I have one message for you.

Taxes, debt, and the growth curve are important, but they are not all that matters.

Russia, North Korea, and Iran are important, but they are not all that matters.

Women’s rights and abortion are important, but they are not all that matters.

Judges Garland, Gorsuch, and Kavanaugh are important, but they are not all that matters.

Racism and inequality of all kind are important, but they are not all that matters.

Squad members are important, but they are not all that matters.

Health care, Medicare and Big Pharma are important, but they are not all that matters.

Anti-Semitism and Israel are important, but they are not all that matters.

Climate change and the environment are important, but they are not all that matters.

Scientific progress and exploration are important, but they are not all that matters.

Immigration and asylum are important, but they are not all that matters.

Early education, college debt, and retraining programs are important, but they are not all that matters.

Safety nets and minimum wages are important, but they are not all that matters.

Capitalism, monopolies and personal privacy are important, but they are not all that matters.

All that matters is that you have 15 months to get together, bury your internecine hatchets, douse your egos, forget whose “turn” it is, give up what you each WANT to do and concentrate what you all NEED to do. On Tuesday, November 3, 2020, you MUST defeat Donald Trump.

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